8 Years, huh
Annual roundup post where I reflect on 2024 and talk about the future. These posts have pretty much become the only opportunity where I speak freely and honestly about the things around me.
Also, 8 years is a really long time, damn. Have I really been doing this for that long?
2024
In February 2024, I made content for Granblue Fantasy Relink. It was an overwhelmingly disappointing game. Shallow, repetitive combat with tiny movesets and boring bosses. No real fun to be had outside of playing with other people. I cannot think of a single good thing present in that game, that isn’t executed better in another game. Maybe it’s just anime appeal and cute characters that made people say the game is great. Or being able to netplay with your buddies. If that’s all this is, then I have absolutely no hope for the future.
The Relink videos blew up. I didn’t even like the game. Even though they did well, it really just felt like I was painted into a niche of anime Action RPGs, and if I did anything else, 95% of viewers didn’t give a fuck. Especially if it wasn’t anime. This lead to me low key resenting my viewers, to be completely honest. I put my everything, plus ultra, into those DMC5 Enemy Guides last year. All I got for it was a low impression rate and “bro do you still make videos?”.
But then again, what did I expect? What did I really want? I don’t know.
I felt lost, to be honest. The irony of making videos for games I don’t even care about and getting high views, versus making videos for games I genuinely love and my fans don’t care, was too much. Maybe I just wanted people to care about what I liked. But then again, maybe it was too much to expect people to care.
I’d hate to seem like I’m unappreciative of support, mind you. But this can all feel fake when people love you for playing the games they like, then they straight up not there when you don’t. The ones that remain and cheer me on regardless, are very special to me and I wonder if they can tell I treat them differently. But generally speaking, I’ve pretty much stopped caring about what fans want from me. I’m gonna do what I wanna do. Fuck the views and fk your expectations.
I don’t wanna be stuck in the setplay of playing boring anime Action RPGs forever. I had plans to make iX1 videos this year, but my controllers started to have a drift issue and it took months to get them repaired. So I ended up pretty much not making videos.
I started livestreaming to Twitch a lot more. I recall that last year I said I was going to stop streaming to Twitch so much, but then I ended up streaming DMC5 practically every day. It’s funny how that works out, huh?
At some point, I started getting recognized on Twitch for being good at DMC5. I still think I’m only OK at the game, but some other Japanese streamers who are incredible at DMC5 were saying they acknowledged and respected me. Some people even said they look up to me, and want to be as good as me.
I am unworthy of such praise.
I’m a master at downplay and a professional at brushing off compliments. But at the same time, what they were saying made me feel like I should believe in myself more. I’m a habitual self-loather, but this year, I finally feel like I was able to let go of most of that. I kind of like myself right now, which is something I haven’t felt in over 10 years.
Feels like I am at a turning point in my life right now. Kind of grand to say, but in a way DMC5, kind of saved me from continuing down the self destructive path I was headed. Now I have the confidence and self-esteem to tell you to fk off when you try to bully me to cover another boring anime Action RPG.
Damn, character development in 2024.
Announcements
At the beginning of 2023, I planned to downgrade this website at the end of the year. The $345 fee is a little bit too much for someone who lost their job. But towards the end of the year, some very nice people donated a fair bit of money. The result was that the full hosting costs was covered purely via donations. This has not happened since 2020.
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Words cannot express my gratitude. Seriously, thank you guys.
Upcoming Projects
For content, it’s Devil May Cry 5 and God Eater 3.
For DMC5, there is so much I want to do, but guides and runs are at the top of the list.
For GE3, I found a way to swap out Aragami on the PC version. I think some high difficulty custom missions could be fun to do.
I also want to take another crack at attempting videos for Luminous Avenger iX1. But DMC5 is so demanding that I don’t know if I will be able to do this.
I considered Freedom Wars Remastered briefly, but I don’t think so. I feel like people are only gonna care about watching it for about 6 weeks, and then move on to whatever else is ‘new’. But above else, making videos for this game is not what I want to do. I may get it to netplay with some people though, so we will see.
There are a fair bit of indie games I’m keeping an eye on, and some may come out next year. Out of them, MIGHTREYA looks very fun to play. I will probably stream it when it comes out. Not sure about videos yet.
I think that’s it. I didn’t want to make this post very long this year because I don’t really have a lot of nice things to say.
But either, way if you made this far, Thank you for reading.
See you in 2025.